How to Take a Minute When There Isn't a Minute

By Michelle Mady

There's so much on social media right now about parents feeling overwhelmed. Parents are constantly reminded to take care of themselves and that parents can't fill from an empty cup. It almost makes us, parents, feel MORE guilty. We feel overwhelmed about all that life (and parenting) is throwing at us, and even more so now that we are also in charge of everyone's cup? If I'm struggling to find the time to complete my “must do” tasks, how the heck can I fill my own cup?

If I'm struggling to find the time to complete my “must do” tasks, how the heck can I fill my own cup?

There are tons of suggestions on self care out there, but are they realistic? Some parents can have a weekly date night. Some can take a vacation, pick up a hobby, or get a massage. But what if you don't have a local support system to pick up what you can't while you are getting your “self care” on? What if you are a single parent or primary caregiver? What if your child has specific needs that make it hard to be away for a few hours? What if there is a way, but it requires more brain power than you have to make it all work?

I’ve been married for almost 20 years and have 5 children. There have been seasons in my family’s life where taking a minute just didn’t seem possible. However, I have discovered a few “mom hacks” (i.e. calming techniques) to be able to take a minute when there just isn’t a minute to take.

Take a Shower

OK, this might seem silly, but a steaming hot shower with an essential oil shower steamer and a podcast or music playing is such an energy boost. I had three under three for a solid six months.  And in that time, I would put the youngest down for a nap and sit the older two in their room with a movie playing. Sure, that shower was no more than 15 minutes, but I was able to stop thinking for a few minutes.

The prep to this one is key: make sure that the kids are somewhere safe (like a crib or in a room with a baby gate) and that they have some fun new thing to be entertained by! I knew that if the baby cried in his crib, or the older two argued over a toy, that I would be energized by the end of my shower to deal with it.

Get Outside

There’s something about being outside on a nice day that can help facilitate a mental reset. But even getting out on a not-so-beautiful day can be beneficial. Toss the kids in a stroller with a snack, put on the rain cover and go for a walk. I once got a battery-operated string of lights to put around our stroller so the kids thought they were in the coolest fort. And I put one earbud in and listened to a few guided meditations to get me grounded for the second half of our day.

You can also head to the park. There will always be a few other kids at the park for yours to play with, and you can hang on a bench and keep an eye while also getting some space. This is also a great way to meet other parents and trade off the duty of mediating play time issues.

Have an At-Home Date Night

If you have a partner and getting out of the house together feels like an impossible task, consider a “stay at home” date night. Give the kids dinner, put them to bed and then curl up with your partner to watch a movie, have a “grown up” dinner or play a game. My husband and I love the Clue Escape games and Exit games. They are only good to play one time, but totally worth the purchase for a fun and different date night in.

However you find time for yourself, remember that this is as (if not more) important as the other tasks on your mind. So don’t forget to add a “minute” to your to-do list this week!