How Visuals Can Help Challenging Behavior

By Michelle Mady

Children feel most secure when things are predictable. We all know that. Structure and routine go a long way in curbing some difficult behaviors. But sometimes the routine has to change.  Sometimes we have to change bedtime, add a bath night or leave for school early. Maybe dad's away for the weekend or mom simply needs a break from bedtime duty. We know that children don't always respond well with changes (or their perceived changes), so how can we help them?

We know that children don't always respond well with changes (or their perceived changes), so how can we help them?

The best way to manage children’s behavior and hesitation is through preparation. If we can prepare children for what is coming, whenever possible, it makes it easier for them to feel secure and go with any impending changes. However, if anyone has ever tried to explain something to a toddler (or teenager for that matter), they know that conversations aren’t always understood as well as we wish they would.

A simple fix that helps kids of any age is using visual schedules.

Having visual cues helps children more fully understand both happenings and expectations.  

Think back to the last bedtime. You told your child you would read them two books. At the end of the second book, you are ready for a calm and sweet good night from your precious child. As you bend down to kiss them good night, they scream and flail, insisting on another book. You can’t help but wonder what the heck happened and where you went wrong.

You didn’t go wrong, but there’s likely a misunderstanding somewhere. Whether your child didn’t fully understand what two books meant, or they decided at the last minute that it wasn’t enough, there was a miscommunication. They were not prepared to transition from you to sleeping. And that’s tough.

You didn’t go wrong, but there’s likely a misunderstanding somewhere. 

So what can you do to alleviate this stressful scenario for both you and your child? Have a list of pictures next to their bed. Maybe there is a picture of a toothbrush, then one of a stuffed animal, followed by two books, and then a picture of a kiss goodnight. Let your child point them out as each task is completed throughout the bedtime routine. This will help to give them time to adjust to the transition.

You can also use pictures to show who the adult is that will be in charge of bedtime for the evening. Or consider using pictures to show what is for dinner or lunch each day. Having pictures in places that are accessible to children helps them to understand what is going on in their lives, particularly when they really don’t have much control over the choices being made.

Children’s receptive language, the understanding that words have meaning, starts developing at about nine months old. However, children can’t understand 3-step directions until they are four years old. And the concept of time (days, hours, minutes, etc.) isn’t understood until age 7 or 8.  Auditory processing skills, the skills needed to hear language, and then process the information properly, develops in the teen years.

So, yes, your child is listening and maybe even understanding what you are saying. But are they really processing that information, and do they have a solid knowledge of the meaning of what you are saying? Not all the time.

Adding pictures helps to reinforce the language they hear. Not only will it help minimize behaviors, especially around transitions, but it will help support their auditory processing skills.  And maybe by the time they are teenagers you might have more luck getting them to really hear you!

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